Back to Work

Gap Dress and Tights; J. Crew Blazer; Banana Republic Necklace; Ralph Lauren Riding Boots 

Today was my first day back at work and it was a difficult transition as expected. Tears began streaming down my face involuntarily as soon as I closed our apartment door. When I got to the bottom of our building’s stairs and heard Merle cry out, I contemplated running back upstairs to scoop her up in my arms, saying to hell with work, but I knew I had to just rip off the Band-Aid and go.  All day long I felt like I had a hole in my chest, as if a part of me was missing without my baby girl there with me. The only thing that got me through the day was trying to focus on the positive parts of going back to work.  For me that meant getting to put together outfits for both myself and customers at the store and creating a menu of packed lunches for the week.

I love looking into my closet and putting my existing clothing together in different ways to create the feeling of a new wardrobe. For my first day back, I wanted a look that felt comfortable, but was slightly dressy, because hey, sometimes it feels good to wear something that doesn’t have mysterious baby stains on it. I went with a flannel shirtdress, for comfort, in on trend plaid, and a navy schoolboy blazer to add polish. I layered on a chunky gold necklace with my cold weather staples, tights and Ralph Lauren riding boots. It was exactly the outfit I was looking for.

I always look at packing lunch as a challenge. Brown bag lunches tend to be either boring or flavorless and with numerous food truck and restaurant offerings around the store, I need to pack something that is truly appetizing to prevent myself from straying to the pricier take out options. Ever since I was pregnant, I have this weird thing where I only like to eat hot things so I also try to come up with lunches beyond salad and yogurt. Today I came up with radish toast on a rosemary and olive oil roll I baked last night with a hot white bean spread (I microwaved it). For sides, I had an apple and popcorn made using this method. I also intended to pack kale chips but I forgot to make them. Mommy brain!

As hard as I tried to focus on the positive, dressing up and eating a delicious packed lunch couldn’t compare to being home with my daughter. In time I will get more used to being away from her for long periods of time, but I don’t foresee enjoying it. The best part of the separation? Seeing Merle’s face light up with joy when she saw me walk through the door. That smile made the whole day worth it. 

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